My 27-year-old brother-in-law moved in with us some time ago. He doesnít have a job or contribute anything in terms of helping around the house or with bills. I think he needs to move out, but my wife isnít so sure. She complains about the situation to me, but if I say anything, it makes me the bad guy with her family. How can I convince her?
I think you need to sit down with your wife, not all the other players, and gently explain to her that youíre just enabling his bad behavior by allowing things to continue this way. Responsible adults donít behave like bums, and I donít give a flip what the rest of the family
thinks. Itís your
house, and this issue is between you and her. You two are the only ones having to deal with this, so itís really easy for others to chime in about what should happen. But hey, if theyíre so concerned with the guy having a place to stay, maybe one of them
should take him in. Iíll bet that idea would shut them up in a heartbeat!
Iím not advising you to just kick the guy out, but maybe you could formulate a plan
that will give him a little time to get back on his feet. Have a loving talk with him about the situation, but let him know things canít continue on the same path. Let him know that within 30 days he has to have a job, and 30 days after that he has to move into his own place. Write it down on the calendar, if it will help, but make sure he understands why youíre doing this and the date he has to move out.
I know these kinds of things can be difficult, but sometimes you have to take the bull by the horns and make something happen. Thereís no reason it has to become an ugly situation, as long as you and your wife get on the same page and you do things in a helpful and kind way.